I Will Sing of the Mercies of the Lord Forever

Well, hello there!! Let's see, 2011 and now almost 2012 have come and gone and here I am again.  The time away from my blog has been a time of restoration and growth and I would like to share what has transpired with you.

As the season of Advent began today, I want to express just how thankful I am for the church we belong to.  It is made up of such wonderful people from the pastor and everyone in between right down to the youngest little ones.  Echo Lake has been a source of peace, strength, comfort and direction for me and my family over these past few years.  Most especially, I am blessed to have met some of the most real, friendly, God -loving spiritual sisters there, as well as, I have had the privilege of meeting some very inspirational women through Zumba.   Whether these ladies know it or not, many times they have been a source of strength and encouragement for me - either through our Mom's group, our time away at retreats, reading their blogs written with such honesty and ownership of the choices they have made in their lives, good, bad or otherwise or just getting together to let off some steam in class.  They have blessed me and inspired me to share my story below.

The last time I posted, I was speaking of how getting laid off from work was truly a blessing in disguise...and it was...but like most people, my husband and I were living paycheck to paycheck and the decrease in my income brought what we thought we had "under control" right into the spotlight.  You know like that blemish that appears smack dab in the middle of your face on picture day..front and center here I am...deal with it.  

We refinanced our home during the housing bubble and had an adjustable-rate mortgage (ARM).  Months before our loan was to go into the ARM, we attempted to refinance and we were declined.  Coming to fruition was the outcome of our past decisions...not being financially prepared, not saving enough, unnecessary spending, decline in my husband's business and my lay off, late mortgage payments, and finally a notice of foreclosure and losing our home was the reality we were facing. 

We got ourselves into this mess and we needed to get ourselves out....so we thought.  

You see, God was working on us.  We got so far into the "daily grind" and living for our needs and fell out of using the talents God blessed us with and serving others.  Some of you know that my husband, Caleb, is a very talented artist. God blessed him at a young age artistically and he has been faithful, practicing daily.  We have been together for 18 years and he has had this concept he has been creating and the last few years but never fully pursued.  He has been receiving encouragement to get his work published and frankly, this was a huge part in pushing him forward.  Also, at this time, I started back to working out.  I met a trainer who told me I was naturally athletic (heh-lur, moi, with the knee injury...okay) and then I took a Zumba class and felt that I was home.  Caleb and I needed to reconnect/connect to our talents, be obedient to God, keep moving forward to meet God half way (Anne best encouragement ever) and trust He would take care of the rest.   Easy, right?!

So, being human, still having a part of us thinking we could fix this mess ourselves, we looked for ways to increase our income.  We tried network marketing and failed.  Not because network marketing does not work, but because that is not where we needed to be.  We were desperate to get out of this mess and that desperation came across to a good deal of people we met and introduced our business too.  We were too embarassed to confide in those closest to us in our business and personal life the real reason why we got involved, so how could they help us.  We did get to meet some wonderful friends and spend time with people who were successful and top income earners.  We certainly got an education in business and for that we are so thankful.  It was clear, though, that this was not where we belonged. 

The more we became obedient to what we needed to do, God showed up everywhere.  The sermons at church seemed to be tailor made just for us (ha ha how many of us at ELBC feel that way each week amazes me).  How I know the Spirit is working in my life is a topic will usually will fall in my path more than once and that cues me to pay attention.  One week our sermon was on the parable of the Prodigal Son.  That is how we felt..how could we have made such a mess of our finances and God still love us and welcome us back.  We had taken the money from the jobs we had and not put it to the best use to the point where we were on the verge of losing our home.  I lost it right there.  I sat in the pew, crying and inside I kept asking God for what I wanted...not to lose our home and to have a second chance.  (As an aside, I was raised Catholic/Protestant and showing any emotion during service was something I never experienced.  Caleb, on the other hand was brought up Pentecostal so he was like oh, the Holy Spirit got a hold of her, cool.)  Everything I was reading outside of church was telling me that as believers, God wants us to live in abundance.  He does not want us stressed out, living paycheck to paycheck.  He wants to provide what we need and more so that our cup runneth over.  We were living in a financial hell...we didn't want to be there but more importantly, God does not want to see His children anywhere near hell of any kind.  We had to accept that as believers in Christ, we needed to be accountable for our mistakes, repent, work hard and trust that God would provide.   After many tear-filled nights that is what we did.  We owned up to our mistakes, we asked for and received His forgiveness.  We were welcomed home in God's arms and we have been blessed abundantly every day since then.

A job opening at a local store met Caleb's schedule and helped provide us with additional income, I had opportunities to pick up additional work from time to time as well.  We were meeting people that helped propel us forward and were being sustained by God's faithfulness.  Caleb began attending more Comic Cons, networking with artists and managers and gaining insight in the comic field.  He had more people cross his path with serious connections in a short period of time...that is no accident. The Lord was directing it all and all Caleb had to do was follow His path.  I was blessed to meet a great Zumba instructor, who is also my girls dance teacher.  She has been a gift to me as a mentor and friend, encouraging and motivating and am so happy she is a part of my life and the girls' lives as well.  I had opportunities to attend a wonderful Mom's group and 2 retreats through my church (the second one's topic..the Parable of the Prodigal Son...I cannot make this stuff up!) and through these retreats, I got to know my spiritual sisters even more.   

We started to prepare to find new housing just in case things didn't work out.  We contacted a local realtor about a house we saw for rent.  In the conversation, she asked why we were looking.  So I swallowed hard and told her the truth.  She then proceeded to tell me how financially ruined we were, how we would probably never recover from this until well into our 60s and to prepare ourselves for a bleak and difficult road because our credit would basically be in the toilet.  As she was talking, I very clearly heard God say to me, now, are you going to continue to listen to her or are you ready to walk with Me?  I knew immediately what I needed to do.  I interrupted, her thanked her for her time and immediately hung up. 

Finally, we found a program through the County we qualified for to get us out of the ARM...we applied and waited and waited.  One day before Zumba, we reached out to where we sent our application (twice) and they lost it.  I was so upset, but I left for Zumba class.  It was a great Zumba class, one of those times where you know all the stress is gone...and I lost it..sweaty and sobbing in the parking lot, overwhelmed thinking that's it, we are done. I confided in my friend Jo Ann, (a woman I met through class and even got certified with her for instructing too) and what she said next stopped me.  She personally knew the director of where we sent in our applications and could she contact him tomorrow on our behalf.  My tears went from sorrow to joy!!  God did not fail.  A door was shut and He threw open a window.  Her one phone call finally, finally, finally led us to working with someone and getting us out of our ARM and into a fixed rate mortgage.   I had no reason to confide in her...He knew I needed to.       

We got our second chance.  God provided a way to keep us in our home.  This has been the most humbling experience of my life.  I have learned to be thankful for what I have and where I am exactly in the moment.  I have learned that forgiveness is the key to life...forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made, forgive those who hurt you, forgive and step into freedom!  Decide to be thankful for everything -- every.single.thing -- you have experienced in your life.  Stop limiting God.   

The depth of God's grace and forgiveness towards Caleb and I overwhelms me still.  Through all of this here is what we learned:

Be accountable for your actions, repent, accept and give forgiveness.
Make the decision to be thankful for everything.
Stop limiting God. 

God is real.  He hears our cries.  He answers our prayers.  He wants to lavish us with His love.  He is waiting for us to reach for His hand.  He will catch you when you are falling. He is worthy of our praise.  His Grace is enough.   

I know this because I am living this.  I know this because He did this for me and if He did it for me, He will do it for you too!       

I would like to close with this quote below.  Accept it, believe it, own it.  Second chances are there because God loves us always.

"When you dwell on the fact that Almighty God breathed His life into you, approved you, equipped you and empowered you, then any thoughts of inferiority won't have a chance." Joel Osteen

May God's blessings and Peace be with you all from the depths of my very grateful heart.